Fragile. Every day it is a challenge to stay positive. You wake up, you tell yourself all of these wonderful affirmations, you promise no matter what, P O S I T I V E.
What if within all of this positivity you realize fate, time, it has all come to a moment, when that positive side, that strength...well you hit a bit of a break down? It's not o.k. right? Get over it, stop feeling sorry for yourself, everyone goes through worse...well you know what? What ever we all go through this is not a competition, and we are all built different. I think the main point MOST of us strive towards is to love, be good, kind, work hard, so we can play hard. Remember WORK TO LIVE, not LIVE TO WORK. Balance is the trick. The YING/YANG
I have always told people on a bad day, a day they cry or just need to let loose, it's o.k. We are human and every once in a while you just have to cry. It's o.k. to feel overwhelmed? 7 years to the day I moved to this state, is 7 years to the date I'm about to leave it. I'm leaving it with heartbreak, I'm leaving it with lost dreams, I'm leaving it having learned a lot. I'm ready for whatever is next...I'll admit I'm overwhelmed. Am I the only one when the carpet has been pulled out from under you enough times you know what you want, BUT how do you get there? Don't answer just do it, cause I'm doing it. I just feel alone, and yes it is good to be alone, know how to enjoy being alone, but not great all the time. Why chase me? Really? Why? You all tell me.
5 comments:
hey girl, are you really leaving? i hope you find everything you want and need!
is scott leaving too?
You may or may not know me, but I think that what you are feeling is somewhat valid. You seem to be looking for something that is not really within your reach. Not sure if is finacialy or emotional. It doesn't sound like you are happy with your current situation. I don't think you belong here in Texas, it's too small for you. Your dreams are bigger than what this state can offer you. Go back to home, where you know how to be yourself. Where you can fufill all those dreams that you long for. These seven years that you have spent here were obviously for someone else. I think you are leaving that someone else behind. Don't be sad, this person was a part of a very important chapter in your life. God has a plan for you and this is all part of his plan. Take the plunge, stop feeling overwhelmed and just do it. Make a plan and stick to it. You know what you wanna do, what's stopping you??? This person?? Another person?? Family?? Friends?? Don't be afraid, you've always done things your way, don't stop now. You'll never know whether your gonna fail or succeed until you go ahead and stepp off that cliff. All it takes is saying out loud.
You may or may not know me, but I wouldn't give you anonymous advice to leave your spouse...especially if you did not know me. It is obvious the person above me does know you, seems to know your dreams and your state, etc. Seems to me that if someone was going to suggest such a drastic measure, they would base it on a whole picture, not just a few blogs. I hope you make up your own mind...it would be terrible to throw away seven years. Marriage is for life, for good and bad, in sickness and in health. Marriage is not about walking away when things get tough. Nothing is ever easy. EVER...even the perfect marriages.
Listen to your heart. Not other people around you.
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